Business Women’s Forum offers tips on etiquette
03.04.2006, 15:31
Technology and lifestyle changes have rewritten some rules of business etiquette.
"You don’t have to wait for everyone to be served" before beginning to eat at a business meal, said Sandy Sipe, director of sales and marketing for Radisson Penn Harris Hotel.
When the majority of the people at the table have been served — six out of ten for example — start to eat, Sipe told a group of about 175 women Wednesday at the Business Women’s Forum at the Radisson.
Special diets stemming from health or vegetarian preferences can slow delivery of meals, Sipe said. As a vegetarian herself, she usually tells fellow diners to "go ahead and eat. Don’t let your food get cold."
Rules change
Speakerphones and conference calling also have called for some new rules, Sipe said.
"You have all the right in the world" to ask if you’re on speakerphone and to ask who is in the room, she said. The question doesn’t have to be brusque, however.
"You can say, ‘It sounds to me as if we’re on speakerphone. Are we?’ and then say, ‘May I ask who else is joining us?"
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But that should never happen, she said. "Never start a conversation on speakerphone. Ask for permission" from the person you called before you put the call on the speaker.
E-mail has changed business communication, and it’s acceptable to send a thank-you electronically, Sipe said. But a hand-written note is still the best alternative.
Since the advent of "women’s liberation" a man no longer has to wait for a woman to initiate a handshake, she said, but it’s still proper to introduce the woman first when introducing a man and woman to a third person.
"Isn’t that a bit of leftover chivalry?" a woman in the audience asked.
Sipe replied, "It could be," but advised, "Eat it up."
Other rules have not changed. Two arm lengths — the distance between people shaking hands — is still the norm in this country for business conversations, Sipe said.
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Dining tips
Sipe finished her presentation by explaining a table setting that was set up near the podium.
To the age-old dilemma of which piece of silverware to use for which course, Sipe gave a simple rule: Start from the outside and work your way in. When the forks and spoons have been taken away, slide the dessert fork and coffee spoon from the top of the plate down to the sides.
The bread and butter plate will be on your left, your glassware on your right, she added. And when leaving the table during the meal, place your napkin on the left of your plate or on the chair. A napkin on the right of the plate signals the waiter or waitress that you’re done.
"Who pays for business meals?" was another question from the audience.
Whoever made the invitation should pay, Sipe said.
If he or she offers to pay, accept graciously rather than fighting over the check, she added. If the offer doesn’t come, the meal should be split 50-50.
Forum to expand next year
After two sold-out events in as many years, the Business Women’s Forum is moving next year to the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex.
The Radisson’s banquet hall, exhibition space and meeting rooms maxed out Wednesday with 460 attendees and 40 vendors. And "I turned away 150 attendees and 75 exhibitors before I quit taking names," said Leslie Conway of the Greater Carlisle Area Chamber of Commerce, event sponsor.
Conway attributes the success to strong speakers and "great networking opportunities."
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Attendees and presenters had other ideas.
"I decided I’d do this for me," said Jinny Cooper, a business developer for Poole Anderson Construction, which has offices in Carlisle and State College. Cooper had slipped in for morning sessions, planned to meet a client for lunch, then came back to the forum for an afternoon session before meeting another client.
She had made progress toward a weight-loss goal and wanted help getting off her "plateau" from Dr. Becky Gillaspy of Gillaspy Chiropractic Center in Harrisburg, whose topic was dieting.
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Another explanation for the forum’s popularity was offered as Deb Pajak, a financial services professional at Wienken & Associates of Camp Hill, prepared to present a talk on the "sandwich generation" — folks trying to finance children’s education, elderly parents’ care and their own retirement.